I had two dreams of note last night.
I was in a house that I lived in, in a rural sort of community (houses were really spread out). A woman was taking the kids out to go shear sheep together. Apparently it was a pretty big thing in the town. As I walked up to see the kids, suddenly a man joined me. I recognized him. He was a man from the house that I lived in. He was with his two kids. He had a thing of something like wool draped over his neck. It was about two inches wide. Apparently it was made of nubbin'. It was something they used to attract the sheep. The sheep would wonder over and start to bite/suck on the ends of the nubbin'. Then the people could shear the sheep by punching them and little blocks of wool would come off of the sheep.
Suddenly, there was a whole crowd of people looking to this woman for direction. The whole town had come. I was the only one who had forgot my nubbin' so I told the man I lived with to go on ahead with the kids and I would run back to the house to try to find some material to create my own. The crowd was really thick, and I had to push my way through. On the way, I saw a man I recognize from work with a little girl. He had his hand pulling the little girl into his legs. I felt envious of the little girl. I wanted to be in the little girls spot. A little further on, I saw another man that I recognize from the ward. I felt frustrated for having run into so many men that I felt attracted to in the crowd.
Finally I was free of the crowd and back at the house. I remember asking where the nubbin' was, but no one seemed to be able to tell me. I searched the house. Then I wanted to change my clothes into something cleaner. I remember taking off a hunter orange shirt that I own and tossing it to the side. I started to change while talking with my mother. Finally, I thought I was done changing and I stepped out onto the small front porch the house had. I felt an odd sensation, and asked my mom if I was naked or if I had clothes on. She looked at me and said I had nothing on. That's when I looked back inside and realized I had completely undressed while talking with her. That's what I get for being distracted. I walked back in and started to dress again. I noticed my undershirt had a number of lines drawn on it, in all sorts of different colors, green, black, yellow, etc. I looked in a red plastic bin and saw that my orange shirt was there. That was the dirty pile. So I grabbed another hunter orange shirt, exactly like the dirty one, and put it on.
I finally dressed and was in the kitchen of the couple that I shared the house with. They were having an argument. The wife said something like 'If you have a best friend, you need to hold on to them forever!' That's when I remember thinking to myself 'She doesn't know that something's happened, and it's not like that anymore.'
Then the back of the house was open, and there was a freezing rain/hail falling. I remember feeling occasional cold prickles on my skin where it hit me. It seemed to be able to find me even when I was inside the house. A man in a white vest was gesturing for us to come out and gather wool. I shook my head and said it was too cold. It was winter outside! It would be madness to be out collecting wool in the cold. The man made a gesture like he was cold and mimicked putting on a coat. Finally I decided I would put on a coat. As I walked into my room, I looked down and saw some nubbin'. I reached down and put a strip of red/orange nubbin' around my neck. I thought it was too small, so I tried with another piece. That was too small as well.
Then the leader woman, who wore a dark red shirt, was in our house. She said we had to go and collect wool or something bad would happen to us and the family.
Someone at work had figured out a cool thing to do with glass. He used a metal implement to engrave the outside of the class. Then, if we put it in the kiln for about an hour, the engraved parts would turn black from the dirt in the heat.
If someone created something new and cool at work, they would get a small coin as a reward. I didn't have a coin, and a number of other people did. They were cool. I remember thinking, well, our company is cooler than Novell. Then I remember seeing a whole crowd of the employees. I could see which ones had coins. I could see that those that didn't have coins envied those that didn't.
"Everyone is always envying what they don't have." a voice said to me. I turned to see the glass that my co-worker had engraved earlier. Now, it looked like a round, black and orange Jack-o-Lantern. It slowly rotated, floating in the air as it spoke to me.
"I am over hundreds of years old. I have been watching."
At this point, I woke up, sat up in bed, feeling confused and afraid.
So many elements of this dream come from my current life. The co-worker and the guy from my ward from the first dream are people I've felt attracted to multiple times. The feeling of being frustrated by running into attractive men is one that probably carried over from my conscious mind. There are times in my waking life that I want to cover my face and just scream for how frustrating it is.
I find it interesting that both dreams involved me looking for something that 'everyone else' had, at least where 'everyone else' was all the men I encountered in the dream. I sometimes feel like heterosexually attracted men have 'something' that I lack. Sometimes I just generally feel like other men have 'something' that I lack.
And the rural community looked like the hill near where I live. I've looked at them many times.