Friday, February 22, 2013

My Strange Dreams 21-22Feb2013

It's been a long while since I've posted up some of the weird dreams I get.  Here goes:

I was at my grandparents house, and there were some people attacking the house with guns.  I don't think they ever fired, but they were invading our house.  Someone told me to run, so I ran to the back of the house and tried to find somewhere to hide.  I skirted around a concrete structure and ended up hiding on the other side of a trampoline by laying in the grass.  I knew I was in plain site, and I didn't move at all.  I was terrified they would find me.  Then they showed up.  One of the men had an assault rifle.  They just walked past me, and didn't seem to acknowledge me.  Then they told my grandfather that this was just a drill, and that this would happen if he defied them.

I was in the back of a black SUV.  The driver was a big man who looked like the 'Rock'.  We were driving at a normal pace when I noticed a school bus behind us swerve to the right and start driving on a road parallel to ours.  Apparently, serial killers were being sent to kill us.  I was scared.  The driver said something about the bus trying to get ahead of us, so he kept driving faster and faster as I felt more and more fear.  Finnally the bus pulled back in behind us.  I looked back at the bus, and saw that the serial killer was a woman with brownish red hair.  I tried to pretend to shoot a gun at her with my fingers, but she just smiled at that.  At some point, there was a collision, and I was out of the SUV.  I just laid on the ground and pretended to be dead.  At one point the serial killer, was standing by me, but I did my best to hold still, breath lightly, and keep my eyes from blinking so I looked dead.  She then walked away.  I thought I heard faint sounds of someone fighting, and the big guy from before came back.  I pulled myself up, and he said something that I would always be my own predator (speaking about my fear and cowardice).  We were then at a place to spend the night.  There was only one twin bed.  I was still pretty worked up, and I really wanted the big guy to just put his arms around me as we went to be so I could feel safe enough to fall asleep.  I never mustered up the courage to ask, and just felt anxious about it.

Then we were in a hallway, and he had to go into a meeting with two other guys to talk about things.  He told me to stay outside.  I was bored, so I wondered down the hall to a men's restroom.  As I approached, two different girls walked in and then walked out.  Feeling nervous, I moved all the way to the end urinal to use it.   Reminded me of an earlier portion of the dream where there were stalls right next to each other, but the walls were really low.  Two married couples were having a conversation while sitting, fully clothed, on the toilet seats.

[Begin earlier dream]
Earlier in the week I had a dream that I was back at a high school.  It was between classes, and I wandered in a locker room simply to be there and see the other guys.  At one point, I did get undessed, then I noticed that there were a bunch of young men and women having some sort of activity in the locker room.  Still naked, I walked around the locker room and apparently into a store that was a part of the school.  I wandered the articles, trying to keep myself covered, and searched for a place to change.  At one point, someone walked by and said that being naked in the school was against the rules.  Then I found another guy who helped me find the locker room again.  I went in, and found that the activity was still going on.  I tried a stall, but the floor was covered in water and I didn't want to change there.  Then, I kept searching and found a really dark hallway that I wandered down.  I kept walking, and didn't see anyone.  I stopped at a turn in the hallway, and considered the spot for dressing.  A door behind me opened briefly and then slammed shut. I was pretty scared about that.
[End dream]

I was back in the bedroom, and instead of the previous big guy that I had been with, it was another guy.  I got into my pajamas and tried to sleep, but it was too hot and I was sweaty.  The other guy got into bed fully clothed.  I thought that was weird.

There was a closet that we opened, and there was a box that tried to shoot something at us.  I waved my hand and deflected whatever it was with my mind.  Now, I had the ability to deflect things with my mind, and I was a girl.  We were trying to find something that other people wanted.  If they knew, then we would get killed.  The door opened, and a man pointed a gun at me.  I made the same gesture and knocked the gun to point away from me.  Then we realized he was friendly and we went to some kind of gala food event.

Apparently it was for a nation, and they were excited about finding the thing.  After an announcement, we all looked up to see a bunch of white bird with purple feathery things around them.  Everyone was shouting excitedly as the birds were released to fly away.  Then trains of white flying horses (called white dolphins) were leaving with small kids riding on them.

Then someone had figured it out.  A guy with a sword came up to a post and spun around, releasing energy in a spin attack that generated 10,000,000 EU, apparently what was needed to activate the post.


Yeah, It was some really weird dreams.  Honestly, it feels like the dreams were teasing or taunting me in some fashion, or possibly I've just been obsessing about some things too much.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Music That I Like: Keep Holding On

I have to say, it's been kind of an interesting ride since my last post.  Christmas was great!  I actually wasn't sick for once (although I did have a nasty headache, that doesn't count, right?).  I've moved into a new ward, and it's been very interesting.  It takes me awhile to warm up and make friends, so it's a matter of me continually trying to be there and be present.

This last week has been pretty rough.  After a visit with my therapist, my massage therapist, and a pretty vulnerable post to the ward's Facebook group, I was feeling the effects of a 'vulnerability hangover'.  Yesterday, a co-worker brought up the whole BSA policy thing regarding homosexuals   I will not get into the politics of it here.  After our conversation, I was so upset, I had to leave work.  I was crying really hard (I'm glad I got home in one piece).  I spent the rest of the day exhausted.  Things are now resolved and much better at work now.  Honestly, I think it was just another blessing.  It helped me get in touch with some sadness I've been ignoring for the past year or two.

That being said, the song I want to share today is all about enduring and holding on.  I know the Savior frequently holds out his hand to me.  Weathering the storm requires that I keep on holding on to it. Enjoy!