I had the most interesting realization last night on the drive home from my support group.
I've always wanted a 'gaming buddy'. Someone to hang out with and play video games with. Something I've complained about is how no one at work wants to be my friend 'outside' of work. Well, last night I realized that two different men at work have expressed a desire for me to join a game called 'League of Legends'. One of them is actually really interested in the fact that I started it up and 'friended' me. We were going to play this week, but there were some technical issues and it didn't quite work out. The other man doesn't know that I've actually joined up with the game.
I find it ironic that I am oftentimes blessed with want or need, but I can't see it. Reminds me of lyrics from a song that say: "The sun is in your eyes. The sun is in your ears. But you can't see the son, ever in the darkness." I feel like the Lord is answering my prayers for more friendship with men. There's also the fact that people at work and at church seem to be more friendly and warm than normal. I am grateful for these things.
Paired with this realization that I am more blessed that I acknowledge or am grateful for, is the tendency for me to 'beat myself up' or think negatively myself for not being more aware of my blessings. The adversary does like to come in and try to disrupt positive things. For now, though, I think I will enjoy this idea of having two new gaming buddies, and ignore the lie that I am 'bad' for not recognizing it sooner.