Friday, January 6, 2012

Names I've Gone By - Final Part

This post is the third final post in the 'Names I Have Gone By' series of posts (See Part 1, Part 2 for the other two parts).  In this post, I will tell you my real name.

First, I am afraid of writing this post.  To reveal my true name means that I can't hind behind the mask of 'Simon' anymore.  I will be exposed out to the world, to the public for the first time in my life.  I'm afraid of the ramifications.  As I drove home today, listening to KLOVE, I finally felt prompted like it was time.  What's the worse that could happen?  Well, honestly, I could be beaten, killed, persecuted, yet all of those things would be but a small price to pay to be free of having to feel like I'm living in the shadows.  It's a small price compared to having to hold back on telling my friends about this wonderful blog I've started.  It's a small price to pay to be one step closer to have a fully integrated and whole life, a life in harmony with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and my fellow man.

My birth name is Andrew.

What does it mean?  Andrew means 'manly' or warrior.  I always found the name to be terribly ironic while growing up.  I hardly ever felt manly and I definitely don't feel like a warrior.  Still, it is my given name.  Oddly, even thought I never felt like it fit, I've never adopted any nicknames associated with Andrew like 'Andy' or 'Drew'.  I've always stayed with Andrew.

Really, as a write this, I realize that I am a different sort of warrior.  I may not be strong, or one to do battle for my Lord, nation, or family in a physical sense.  In many ways, I am a warrior of the heart.  I do battle on spiritual and emotional fronts that many men chose not to fight, or choose to run away from.  In some way, I am manly because I choose to face the reality of what is going on with me in my life.

I am Andrew.  I am a son of God.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or the 'Mormon' church.  I experience same gender attraction.  I am an avid lover of games of all sorts.  Those things are ultimately a small part of who I am.  If you're reading this blog for the first time, take the time to read the other posts.  Other than most of the 'My Strange Dreams' posts, you'll probably learn a lot about me that you never knew.

I am Andrew.  And this is my blog.


  1. You ARE a true warrior of the heart, Andrew! Thank you for sharing so courageously here. You have inspired me and I know you will continue to bless and inspire many more to face reality and tackle our fears head on. Keep it up!

  2. In my humble opinion, the meaning of your given name may be one of the most appropriate I've ever heard.

    Your friend and fellow soldier on the battlefield,


  3. I find that my opinion of you has not changed in the least, now that I have a new piece of information about you. I still see you as Mr. Bubbles, the adorable, short (sorry) little brother of the group who is just as nerdy as the rest of us, and is trying to live his life according to the dictates of God.

    However, I will probably stop asking you if you've met any nice girls lately.