Names I've Gone By - Final Part

This post is the third final post in the 'Names I Have Gone By' series of posts (See Part 1, Part 2 for the other two parts).  In this post, I will tell you my real name.

First, I am afraid of writing this post.  To reveal my true name means that I can't hind behind the mask of 'Simon' anymore.  I will be exposed out to the world, to the public for the first time in my life.  I'm afraid of the ramifications.  As I drove home today, listening to KLOVE, I finally felt prompted like it was time.  What's the worse that could happen?  Well, honestly, I could be beaten, killed, persecuted, yet all of those things would be but a small price to pay to be free of having to feel like I'm living in the shadows.  It's a small price compared to having to hold back on telling my friends about this wonderful blog I've started.  It's a small price to pay to be one step closer to have a fully integrated and whole life, a life in harmony with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and my fellow man.

My birth name is Andrew.

What does it mean?  Andrew means 'manly' or warrior.  I always found the name to be terribly ironic while growing up.  I hardly ever felt manly and I definitely don't feel like a warrior.  Still, it is my given name.  Oddly, even thought I never felt like it fit, I've never adopted any nicknames associated with Andrew like 'Andy' or 'Drew'.  I've always stayed with Andrew.

Really, as a write this, I realize that I am a different sort of warrior.  I may not be strong, or one to do battle for my Lord, nation, or family in a physical sense.  In many ways, I am a warrior of the heart.  I do battle on spiritual and emotional fronts that many men chose not to fight, or choose to run away from.  In some way, I am manly because I choose to face the reality of what is going on with me in my life.

I am Andrew.  I am a son of God.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or the 'Mormon' church.  I experience same gender attraction.  I am an avid lover of games of all sorts.  Those things are ultimately a small part of who I am.  If you're reading this blog for the first time, take the time to read the other posts.  Other than most of the 'My Strange Dreams' posts, you'll probably learn a lot about me that you never knew.

I am Andrew.  And this is my blog.